just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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