he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
