im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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