What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
