Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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