I want to have your abortion
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
