I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize