Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
