but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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