why didn't you poke me back
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
