First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
