im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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