My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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