If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
