I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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