Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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