My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
