At least make sure they are 18
Why
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
