If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
