This girl is more easily done than said...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
