...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
