Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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