she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
