Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
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