I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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