Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
