Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Let the clothes fall where they may.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
