Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
i think i just lost a toe
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
