Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
