i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
