we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
