C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
