what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Randomize
