hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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