when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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