Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
