I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
