trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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