Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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