She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
operation have a gay friend backfired
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
