I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
