She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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