We named our party play list daddy issues
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
