If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
