Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
