u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
