On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
