she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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