theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
