To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
