haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
