I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
And then my night got REAL pukey
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
