If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
